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Jokes ... (October 10, 2009 Issue 2)

October 10 2009

Hearing the joke, soldiers of different categories laugh in different ways.
General laughs three times: when he hears a joke, when he explains the meaning of a joke and when he realized the explanation. The senior officer also laughs three times: when he hears a joke, when I realized the meaning and when it sees that the general laughs. Private laugh once: when he sees that the senior laughs. The company commander clerk does not laugh at all. Firstly, because he knows by heart all the jokes. Secondly, to laugh in the presence of the head - it's insubordination. Third, no good to laugh after the boss, because he, God forbid, think that you're stupid because you start to laugh with a delay.
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- Girl, how long?
- As it is a pity, but I'm not a girl ...
- Then do without those stupid intros!
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Pinocchio comes to school with a billet under his arm:
- Parents are called?
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Ivan dypak ppishel to tsapyu and govopit:
- I promised you ppinesti golovy dpakona. So here it is.
Tsap govopit:
- As for me, Vanya, I promise you pyky princess. So here it is.
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Council's wife. Do not can ppigotovit lunch - symey least ppigotovit to etomy myzha.
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- What is your lovely child! It's pretty ugly girl or a boy?
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Two drug addicts:
- Tried recently Shift-Ins ....
- And how is it?
- Inserts ....
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Results of recent sociological research.
53% of women aged 16 to 29 years at least once a day thinking about sex.
In contrast, men 53% of the day thinking about sex with a woman from 16 to 29 years.
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The school chemistry teacher checks the knowledge of the periodic table:
- Kids! If you had the opportunity to receive a gift from Santa Claus one Shout kilogram of a chemical element or compound - which would you choose?
- Gold! - Maria squeaked. - I'd then bought a Chevrolet convertible, "- and all the guys behind me to run!
- Platinum - solidly boomed Pete - it's much more expensive than gold - I'd then bought the latest model of Ferrari - and all the girls from our street would have been mine.
The teacher smiled and turned to Vovochke. He thought for a moment and said softly:
- And I would ask a little silicone.
- But why? - Surprised the teacher.
- Hmm ... Why ... Look at my sestruhi of silicone all in just two small bags, and all the coolest cars of the city - her!

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