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Jokes ... (March 10, 2009 Issue 3)

March 10 2009

Three men met and began discussing the issue of fathers and children.
The first says:
- I recently cleaned the room of his daughter and found a pack of cigarettes.
I did not know that she smokes!
The second says:
- I cleaned the room of his daughter and found a syringe. Did not know that she
used drugs!
- No, guys - interferes with the third. - So I recently his room
daughter cleaned and found a condom. I did not know that she has a penis!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- My dear - my wife says her husband - while you were away, I decided
to sell our old neighbor obsharpany Renault.
- Why, he was also still quite personal. And for how much?
- Over five thousand.
- What?! So cheap! Yes, he's just you nai .. l!
- No, he paid for it separately.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- When I was with my Nyurka first met, I thought
"Well, otter!"
- And then?
- And then came home and looked at myself in the mirror and decided
"But nothing so wench!"
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- It seems my slyzhanka often vopyet sahap.
- My if u want ykpast, so can not.
- So why?
- Potomy I always zakpyvayu in sahapnitse myhy and if it is not there,
therefore, opens a sahapnitsy.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Man lies on chukchanke and suddenly, the creaking of runners approached the sleigh ...
- Come down quickly, her husband arrived, however, kill!
- I read that the Chukchi husband under the guest's wife puts himself?
- Oh what a pity though! Completely illiterate my man, do not read books!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Shall be deemed, I am a virgin.
- What, honestly?
- Do not, under goposkopy. A myzh my goat.
- By goposkopy?
- Do not, honestly.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Vasya, what are you doing this gpystny?
- Yes, you know, zahozhy vchepa in metpo, smotpyu - sits kick-ass
girl. Young, feet from yshey pastyt, kpasavitsa - ny pposto Otpad!
I told her podmignyl ...
- Hy, and she?
- And she got up and ystypila place for me ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
You live too long in Holland, if you ...
1. Do not run the police say about another stolen bike
and just steal the neighbor's.
2. Not offended if a completely deserted beach novoprishedshee
family is located right in the five meters away from you.
3. Absolutely sure that "dick" - a polite form of address
to the man.
4. The most innocuous joke about the Dutch football perceive
as an insult to you personally, your wife, your children and all relatives
to the seventh generation.
5. Panic when, looking around the middle of a completely deserted
landscape can not see at least ten people.
6. Sit down for supper at 17:30 sharp.
7. Reading a price tag on the window of an aquarium with selling a woman pretending
included in the price of the sales tax.
8. Easy to identify by the smell of Surinamese and Indonesian marijuana.
9. Know how to make love on a bike.
10. Call the country of residence is not "Holland" and "The Netherlands".
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Honey, I yesterday was a terrible night! Yesterday I was at a party explicitly
went over champagne and when we have retired with Bob - this villain
advantage of my position!
- Did he rape you? "
- Are you crazy! Much worse - he ran away!

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