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Jokes ... (November 9, 2009 Issue 1)

November 9 2009
05:19

Attending court. The judge addresses the defendant:
- The defendant, to explain - why you, like a normal person, a graduate of the prestigious university, was severely beaten postman respected person?
- What would you have done in my place? Came to me this dear man and said: "I brought a certified letter. But until stantsuesh, I did not give up. "
- And what?
- Danced ... And that agenda was the draft board!
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Movie hype. In the frame sits a man, no one moves, the newspaper reads. All of a sudden - bam! - Curtains and curtains were removed in the washing machine itself flew. Then - bam! - With his clothes and also flies in the washing machine flies. The room runs two kid. Clap! And they all wear too have a washing machine. And here enters the room kick-ass brunette.
All turn and look look at it ... HEY! .. HEY! Voiceover:
- Do the washing machine only 7 kilograms load. Hehrena had to start with the curtain!
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- Girl! You are so this paranzha!
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Literature in the Classroom teacher finished reading the story:
- And so the brothers forced Ivanushka fool get down to business.
And I was there, honey, beer drinking, his mustache dripping, and the mouth is not horrible.
How do you guys think, what morality in this tale?
Vovochka:
- It is necessary to shave more often.
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New brand: pads with wings, "Dracula."
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Ha subway platform is a boy and dreamily murmurs:
"I thought that happened ... I thought that happened ..."
Suited his friend and asks: "What is thought? What happened?"
The boy replied:
"When mum and dad separated, I thought that I would stay with my dad. Papa will young - daddy to be ... I'll be ...., dad ... I will ... But it turned out - my mother stayed: young mother has - the Mama ... then me ... then my mother ... then I ... "
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- Ah! - Sadly sighed member. - Say what you like, but we never see the light at the end of the tunnel!
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- The most intelligent bird in the world - a parrot. My great-grandfather one hundred years ago brought this one from abroad. This is the cleverest in the world of bird a hundred years, kicked its legs cage and shouted: "Pieces of eight! .. Pieces of eight now! .. Pieces of eight, your mother .." Well, he recently died.
- Is that all?
- No. You see, in the bottom of the cells were indeed piastres ...
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Tomorrow will be an exhibition of domestic animals. Please put all the animals out of the house within 24 hours.
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Woodland was sentenced to death by a rabbit - the wolves.
- Your last wish?
The hare looked at a pack of wolves, and asked:
- I can eat before you die?
- Sure. What will you eat?
- Kilogram blizzard!

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