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Jokes ... (June 9, 2009 Issue 2)

June 9 2009

In one school, three students of very badly behaved, and the director decided to
call the school of their parents. Enter into the study parents of the first - two
men. Director:
- What? Both men??
- Why, we met, fell in love, got married, adopt
child and now all live together happily.
- Come on get out of here! - Become uproarious director. - It's not a family, couple
perverts! Get out and take away his child!
Parents come second - two women. Director:
- How? Two women??
- Yes, we have many years of living together, and we conceived our child
in vitro.
- Again, perverts! Come on out of here, and that I do not see you here!
Here comes the father of the third, unshaven, under the eye Fingal fume smell
a mile away, and says:
- I saw these perverts, and I can tell you that I'm perfectly normal
man. If you do not believe me, look out the window. You see that woman over there with a hand
in plaster, in which the entire face covered in bruises? So, this underdeveloped fool -
my wife.
- Well, thank God, - the director - is finally at least one normal
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Inherited by not only genes but also Cheburashka.
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American wino after 30 years in a drunken stupor he stopped drinking. And he decided
go to the center of New York, as he lived on the outskirts of all these 30 years
Nowhere on the local shop did not happen. In the center, he noted that 30
years, all has changed greatly: the place of old institutions built
new, there was a lot of new signs, even those who have some
other ... He decided to go to a bar. He orders a cup of coffee. Bartender
leaves, then comes back and says:
- Please, your coffee. Since you have five yuan ...
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Court hearing.
- The victim was killed by a round, blunt ...
The prisoner, grimly:
- That I hit my head.
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Peasant call from the bank, whose client he is, and offer
buy a checkbook, citing the fact that it is more convenient to use,
than an ATM, because firstly, it does not need to look for an ATM,
and secondly, to check you can write any amount without limitation. Muzhik
agrees. A few days later an employee of the bank again, calling him:
- Unfortunately, we have to warn you that your account of the problem:
He is already far in the red.
- Please, do not worry. Tomorrow I will come to the bank and write you a check.
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Upon learning that the religion - the opium of the people, obkurenny addict Sidorov
climbed to the church and cut domes.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
A husband and wife, to travel and decided to stay at the hotel
contact the Director:
- What number you can offer us?
- I can offer a beautiful, bright room overlooking the sea. By the way,
you've been married, I'm sorry?
- For more than ten years.
- Of course. Well, I'll try to find you a room with a TV.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Vovochka asked the Pope:
- Dad, what does the word "hence"?
- You see, I'm uneducated man, but I'll try to explain to you.
That's how old are you?
- Nine.
- So, 10 years ago, I drove north to earn money, and stayed
there three years.
- I understand, Dad. Therefore, you cuckold.
- Right. And you, therefore, you bastard ...

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