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Jokes ... (May 9, 2009 Issue 3)

May 9 2009
16:58

Talking two friends:
- My-behold, the experts in the feed, at least now wake up at night -
any question answered!
- And my - in boxing. Wake up at night - not looking in the jaw!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Granddaughter, what would you like to receive as a gift?
- Birth control pills.
- What are you, a granddaughter, why should you?
- My grandmother, well imagine, I have 4 dolls, where I 5?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
I bought a guy a mouse to an optical company. Cool! The guide is written -
works on any surface ...
Scuffed on the table - works!
... On paper - works!
... On the linoleum - works!
What else would try?
The mirror! " - "Found New Hardware ..."
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Family watching television.
Announcer declares:
- There is a popular sign of how to meet the new century, so it and will live.
Son:
- That's great! One hundred years in a row candy, ice cream, toys - cool!
Dad and wife's ear:
- And we're going camping .. spectrum, spectrum .. Xia, Tra .. Xia ...
Grandfather:
- And fuck me a hundred years of sciatica?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Met once guys, talking - of course, about women.
A time for women - hence the relationship with them. One says:
- Oh, I have a wife: I'm with her and so and so, and that's that way!
- Yes, that's what! I've been with her so, and like so ...
- Yes I am with her at all like this!
And only Vanya silent.
He was asked:
- Wan, and you - how?
- I? And I ... And I - with dignity!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Winter. Ukrainian village. Snow piled up for the night Nemer. Six o'clock in the morning.
In one hut the lights go out into the yard beyond a peasant, the small, such
in fufaechke, a hat earflaps. Takes a huge plywood shovel and begins to
clear the yard of snow.
Here on the porch goes huge babischa, night shirt, belly terrible
sizes lie in the belly breast size basketballs, and wild
a voice yells:
- Luda!
In other huts the lights, the villagers go into the yards.
- You are tiky podyvitsya on tsogo dunce! Cow doena,
Zhinkov not ebana and wine, bitch, snig rozgriba!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Once a single woman Anna S. met a lonely man
Nikolai Vasilyevich. They had not seen for twenty years.
- How are you? - Asked AS
- Yes here all alone. So like anything, just a woman's hand is not enough.
I have, as you can see, the two men - sadly joked NV
- And here I have in the economy just is not enough man's hand. I,
as you can see, both hands - Women's ...
Suddenly, they looked at each other a long thoughtful look and realized
each other without words.
... The operation was successful. Anna Sergeyevna new hand has taken root
particularly fast.

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