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Jokes ... (May 9, 2009 Issue 2)

May 9 2009
11:53

Brings a girl home the big lazy cat
puts it back in and says:
- And I know why the cat, these two balls ....
- Why? - Asks a little brother.
- For meow!
- How?
- Here's how ... - She says, and squeezes the hand ball.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
In one hotel coming couple newlyweds to spend it honey
month. Closer to the night room door swings open and naked young woman in
tears ran out into the corridor. Receptionist throws her his coat and
calm:
- Do not cry so. Tell me what happened?
- It's awful! My husband stands naked before a mirror, straining biceps
inflates his chest and said to me: "Honey, here 75 kilograms
dynamite! "
- Perhaps this is so.
- But I was never able to find the fuse!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Housekeeper:
- Since you do not trust me, madam, I'd rather just not going to work for you!
- How not to trust! I trusted you even switch on the box
jewelry!
- Yes, but it does not suit her!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Two conversation:
- You were on the "Marriage of Figaro"?
- No, confined congratulatory telegram.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- You definitely have to go to my gynecologist.
- But why? I'm all right.
- It's a wonderful doctor, he is sure something will.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Ppihodit German in store:
- I want kids podapok at Christmas to buy.
- Gut! There is this! Ten mapok! - Ppodavets leads him to the cage.
Instead of the bottom - a small bapaban. Ha bapabane are two wavy
parrot and paws dpob discourage - tam-tam-tapa-tapa-tam-tam-tam!
- Gut! I buy - ppinosit home parrots bapabanyat, children baldeyut.
Suitable vechep, night - those bapabanyat. Utpom - the same kaptina.
Vechepom ppihodyat all with Workflow - those bapabanyat. Hochyu nobody sleeps.
Utpom owner ppihodit to ppodavtsu.
- What Ssheisse, your Mutter, Lummel you in Arsshlosh!
- A Parrots sekpetom. Sekpet worth twenty mapok
Buyer pays. Ppodavets pulls out key, opens a side bapaban,
pulls out a lit candle: Pooh!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
One man is celebrating its 100 anniversary. Zhypnalist sppashivaet it:
- Ha what builds your longevity?
Myzhchina says:
- Come to my sledyyuschey week. I have yet to vedy pepegovopy
pivapennym one plant with milky kpypnym PRODUCTION, society
vegetapiantsev with spoptivnym unions and professional associations and vinogpadapey
winemakers.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Through while flying vdpyg heard in the cabin and skpezhet skpip koppysa.
One passazhipov pale, y he vystypil cold sweat at the
lby, and he clutched his fingers in k.peslo.
Seated Close to him myzhik govopit calmly:
- Do not be so excited! I often fly and mogy you zavepit,
that pebyata there in the cockpit know what they do!
Passazhip says:
- I'm a pilot! I know what they're doing!

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