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Jokes ... (Mar. 9, 2009 Issue 2)

March 9 2009

The girl placed in a newspaper column, "Love" ad
under the code.
A week later, she walks into the office and gets a hefty stack of
letters. Coming home, it parses the message for this occupation
finds her mother.
- Wow, how many guys you are interested!
- Yes, and among them - our dad.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Passing through the cabin, flight attendant noticed pours
Then the man, shaking and gnawing his nails.
- Maybe I'll bring a glass of brandy, and you will feel better? -
suggested that the stewardess.
After the apparent struggle with her man whispered:
- Okay ...
Checking again, the same passenger, a flight attendant found him
in a worse condition.
- A second shot of? - She asked.
The man said nothing and just nodded his head. When the flight attendant
returned to the passenger for the third time, he sobbed uncontrollably.
- I've never seen anyone who would be so afraid to fly, - said
stewardess on a passenger replied:
- I'm not afraid to fly, I'm trying to quit drinking!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Vstrechayutsa two men:
- How are you?
- Yes you know I have, I believe, started back bleeding!
- And this is??
- You see, before his wife pat on the head - I have a member rises,
but now only a member of touches - hair stand on end !!!!!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- What is man?
- It's a vibrator, which is able to make a bucket.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
A young man came to the recruiting station.
Officer recruiter greeted him and asked:
- What is your name, young man?
- Jim Sullivan, sir.
- You want to voluntarily join the armed forces?
- Yes, sir.
- And where you want to serve?
- I want to serve in the Navy.
- Can you swim?
- I thought that the fleet sail on ships, sir.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
The driver says indignantly policeman:
- Comrade Sergeant, but perhaps there is no left turn?
- Yes, but he is charged.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
There are three basic rules for keeping your teeth in good
1. Brush them twice a day.
2. Visit your dentist at least twice a year.
3. Do not put your nose in its affairs.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Husband and wife traveling in a car stopped by Policeman, wanting
fined for speeding. Husband gets out and starts
- I was driving at 60 km / h.
- 70!
- 60!
- 70!
Then out of the car appears his wife and says:
- Comrade policeman, my husband is useless to argue, when
he was drunk.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
After a ten-month delay, and - a holiday!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Doctor - said the young man lying on the couch - you owe me
help! Every night I see the same horrible dream. I lie
in bed, when the five most beautiful women throw themselves at me
and begin to pull off my clothes.
- And what do you do?
- I'm repelling them away!
- Of course. And how can I help you?
- Please ... Break my arms!

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