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Jokes ... (Mar. 9, 2009 Issue 1)

March 9 2009

Night. On the road there is a girl and a "voice". Stops
machine and a girl in it sits. The driver says to her:
- You know, and I a maniac and I now you rape and kill.
The girl replied:
- Nothing you have not! I remember the number!
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- Girl, you're married?
- You want me to be a girl, but still married?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
During the operation, the woman suddenly wakes up and says:
"Doctor, remove the mask, I recognized you."
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Sochi. Sultry afternoon. Beach ... Ha golden-yellow sand is rare
beautiful nude woman. Passing by the old man stops
and shall delight to behold this wonder of nature.
- What are you looking at me, you old fuck! I'm cold as a fish ...
In response, the old man, a child smacked his lips and says wistfully:
- Oh, and pretty well in the hot season cold fish so under the old horseradish!
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- Doktop I chetype eggs!
- Yes it is you pposto buds dropped.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- You know, I was engaged to a girl on a wooden leg!
- Well, and how?
- I have it broken off!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Husband comes home at night and my wife says:
- Today on TV reported that one of 10 children, they give
apartment, a car and a Swiss bank account. And we have with you 9.
Remember when you said that you have in there somewhere one son ... Let's Go
for him and ...
The husband agrees. When he returns, he sees only one wife
and asks:
- Where are the children?
My wife is in response:
- Well, how are you for her son gone, and their fathers came and took
Each of her child. : (
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The executioner, squinting myopically - convicted:
Whistle - please - I'm bad I see.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Met Russian and American sparrows at the border.
Russian asks:
- You're an American sparrow, which to us are flying to Russia?
- I heard there you have openness, democracy, and here I am
and want to meet your sparrows pochirikat. What are you
to us in America?
- Yes, I already nachirikalsya, which would peck.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Instructor parachuting carries with newcomers briefing.
One of them asked:
- What if I have not revealed the main parachute and a reserve too
then how I will fly to the earth?
- The rest of my life ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- The sale came a new, highly effective ointment for skiing.
It is made on the basis of turpentine, and not smeared on skis ...

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