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Jokes ... (March 8, 2009 Issue 2)

March 8 2009
12:09

Maid comes in the morning with Internet hangouts,
all in bruises, weeping: "Mom!" I hacked! "
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Wife returned from a trip and yells from the doorway:
- What is a parasite, again led bab?
- Well, not the women, but only a single. You've said yourself before leaving:
"Just try it!"
- The defendant, why, before hack box, you killed
old woman, suffering from deafness, but still asleep in another room?
- Your honor, the box was written: "To be opened after my death."
-------------------------------------------------- --------
The wife came to her husband's grave, watering the flowers on the grave and becomes
to the deceased:
- Dear! I am in the water, add calcium chloride, said that he
strengthens bones ...
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Better to be the first Maya than eighth Martha.
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Letit camolet.
One Shout paccazhip ppichitaet:
- Ow, unto me ploho-o! Ow, schac ctoshnit!
Coced Po kpecly:
- You behold ety knopochky nA potolke nazhmite!
Myzhik:
- Hazhal. Hy and all that?
Coced:
- Hy behold. In ctyuapdeccy zazhglac lampochka.
Myzhik:
- Tvoyu mamy! Mne hpenovo! Mne ploho! Menya schac ctoshnit! A ona, cyka,
cama cebe cvet DO NOT include mozhet?
-------------------------------------------------- --------
The doctor, filling history of the disease:
- Well, my dear, how old are you?
- Twenty-nine years and some months!
- How many months?
- One hundred and ninety-six!
-------------------------------------------------- --------
When my husband had forgotten about the wedding anniversary, his wife was offended, but ppomolchala.
Chepez SOME Quaternary he recalled the memorable date, and came home
with flowers and podapkami.
- It's the same on any occasion? - Spposila wife.
- How? - Exclaimed the husband, ppikidyvayas offended. - Heuzheli you forgot
that nine years, two months and five days ago, we're married?
-------------------------------------------------- --------
- Do you know what I dymayu ppo zhenitby?
- Are you married?
- Yes.
- Then I know.
-------------------------------------------------- --------
Little Red Riding Hood:
- Grandma, Grandma! And why you have such big eyes?!
Grandma:
- Why, why! Yes, because instead of the Wolf
contact lenses bottoms of beer bottles sold!
-------------------------------------------------- --------
Wife ppihodit to vpachy:
- Doktop help, y my myzha mania ppesledovaniya.
Doktop gives her pills and she yhodit. Chepez month they slychayno
vstpechayutsya.
- Hy, as the pills have helped?
- Het, a week ago it apestovali and confiscated all imyschestvo.
-------------------------------------------------- --------
- Do you have a remedy for fleas?
- Yes, pay the cashier.
- And you wrap it prettier, a gift after all!

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