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Jokes ... (7 November 2009 Issue 2)

November 7 2009

Meet the need quickly, without hesitation and do not waste time.
And most importantly - do not cheat!

1. You participate in contests and overtook runner occupying the second position. What position you now occupy?
Answer: If you answered that you are now the first - then you are absolutely wrong.
You overtook the second runner and took his place, so that you are now in second position.

Try not to make mistakes in the second issue.
2. You overtake the last runner, what position are you now?
Answer: If you responded on the penultimate - you are again completely wrong.
Think about it. How can you overtake the runner coming last? If you run after him, then he is not the last. The answer - it's impossible. It turns out that using your brain is not the strongest side.
Whatever it was - here's another question. Did not write and do not use a calculator, and remember - you must respond quickly.
Take 1000. Add 40. Add another thousand. Add 30. More 1000.
Plus 20. Plus 1000. And plus 10. What happened?
Reply 5000? Again, not true. The correct answer is 4100. Try to count on a calculator.
Today is definitely not your day. But, maybe, get to the last question.
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Chacha 2. Cheche 3. Chichi 4 Chocho.
Q: What is the name fifth daughter?
Think fast. Answer below.
Answer: Chuchu? NO! Of course, her name is Mary. Read the question again.
CONCLUSION: You are the weakest link - goodbye.
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- Sarah, my dear! You have not seen the little blue paper tabletochku lay there on the nightstand?
- Yes, Monya dear, I drank it with their medications!
- Well, and do now have sex with herself, you fool!
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Two friends talking:
- You have so many years, and you still can not marry.
- I'm with women as with cars - take a lease: you pay monthly, every 3 years new!
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Of all the professions is the biggest turnover in test methods against breakage.
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Two businessmen sitting at the bar, drink, and he turned them talking about secretaries. One friend says:
- And my wife picked up a new secretary, well, a secretary ... Genuine ancient Greek goddess!
- Well, your wife makes! I envy you! And that lass in nature is as beautiful and smart, like a goddess?
- No, same old.
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Your mother-in-law and tax inspectors are in his arms fire house. You have the ability to save only one of them. What would you pick: go to lunch or go to the movies?
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There are two Kent.
- How are you?
- Yes here, learning to play the drums.
- Well, as a result?
- Excellent!
- What fun playing?
- No, the neighbor hanged!
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Philosophy of Love ...
If you love something, set them free.
If it comes back - it will be yours forever.
If it does not come back, so it never belonged to you.
But ...
If it just sits in your room, watching your TV, resulting in a mess your stuff, eats your food, talking on your telephone, takes your money and absolutely no idea that you're a long time ago gave him his freedom, then you either married to it, or gave birth to it.

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