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Jokes ... (August 7, 2009 Issue 3)

August 7 2009

Two men talking about sex:
- What is your favorite pose?
- Rear.
- Why?
- Do not make a happy face.
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One man in an Arab country has committed theft, he was in prison.
Appoint a lawyer.
- I have two news for you - good and bad.
- Well, let's first bad ...
- According to local laws, you will cut off both hands.
- And the good?
- This is the book .. leadership ..
- "How to escape from prison!"?
- No. .. "As a wank in extreme conditions ..
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Taxi passengers, having decided to apply to a driver with a question that tapped on the shoulder.
The driver screamed wildly and lost control. Taxi nearly crashed into the bus, slipped on the sidewalk and stopped centimeters from the storefront. For a moment there was silence in the cabin, after which the taxi driver said hoarsely:
- Listen, buddy, so do not do more. I almost managed it ...
A passenger apologized and said that he thought he could not imagine that a light tap on the shoulder so frightened driver.
On the latter said:
- Yes, in general, your guilt is not here ... Just today I was the first day of work for a taxi. And before that, 25 years drove a hearse!
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- You know, Kolya on Saturday, got married!
- For love or for money?
- The bride picked out for the money, and money - for love.
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Moscow. Park. A group of fans of the red-white in the you-know-what
mood. Separated from her boy and in the hearts tossed in a pond flag with the inscription "Go, Spartacus!". Passing by the old man something
said to him, he takes a stick and ... shall take and cast.
- Che did he say? - Ask friends coming up.
- "In vain you so", says, "useful for another week. ... That's just
erase the last letter is better. "
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Sinking ship. All thrown overboard. Each missing his improvised
watercraft, so as not to drown. The woman swam to her husband, who
grabbed the door marked "Bar", and cried:
- Wretch! I know where to look for you!
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In the old Cuckoo's been three generations of gynecologists. Could not get a good look.
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- Hey, bartender, pour me a glass of brandy!
- What?
- Vaughn, the five-star.
The bartender pours. Visitor drinks - and falls dead.
The bartender draws on the label the sixth star.
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- Yesterday in the Kremlin by presidential decree had been killed a fly. After which the decree was brought back to the table.

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