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Jokes ... (May 14, 2009 Issue 3)

August 7 2009

You know that you are Russian, living in the States, if:

1) Your car costs more than your education at the university

2) Your blood is kept a certain alcohol content,
regardless of whether they drank or not you

3) Any your toilet incorporates elements of the skin (even if the court
summer, and all of us wear shorts)

4) the normal classes in the evening on Friday or Saturday you think
march to a rave with his closest friends 2000-3000

5) In your opinion, the most romantic song, it's a track from a CD
New York Underground Party Volume 3

6) For the life you need bread, water and a mobile phone

7) You come home at 3 am only to find that your parents are still
not returned from the hangouts with parents of your friends

8) You often ask, "Do you know where you can buy cheap ..?"
... and you always know

9) Do you know all the new models of mobile phones Nokia for 3 months before their release

10) You know all the cops with the Brighton Beach by name

11) Do you know someone who works in the dental office

12) Most of your friends while your relatives

13) You drive a Nissan Maxima (or at least the end of the Nissan Altima) and windows
in the car two times darker than the officially established standards

14) On the rear bumper of your Maxima sticker adorns RU (Russia) or
UA (Ukraine)

15) Your Maxima equipped with a manual transmission. You are kidding
above all, who drives a car with automatic transmission, calling them

16) Your uncle is working on the Russian mafia, or he is a former KGB agent

17) gives you smell (Cologne Dolce & Gabana or Aqua de Gio)

18) The waitresses at a popular eatery El Greco know your order
before you left the car

19) You met with his girlfriend, playing the fool for undressing
at the last party

20) Do all of your friends in the trunk is always a bubble

21) You wake up Saturday morning with a hangover of the wild, trying to remember
Who brought you home, because you have not passed, but see
front of the house his car (which means you have arrived on your own)

22) Do you think the bread a nice snack, catching up tremble at amerikosy

23) You know, at least 30 Olga, Anh, Natasha and Vic

24) In summary, your parent's written "8 years of experience programmer -
but you there are only 4 years

25) Do you specialize in computer science at the university - but still
not sure which side turns the computer

26) In your car "personal number" with your name

27) Most of your clothes - vile imitations of expensive designer
but "it is virtually impossible to distinguish them from real ones"

28) Before you seriously rocked - but now you do not have time

29) Tighten the cigarette under a cup of coffee is considered to exercise

30) You know exactly how long it takes to get out of the theater UA
to the restaurant El Greco (6 min 44 sec)

31) Your watch - fake Movado, because you are not pulling in the present

32) Do you often try to go to a synagogue - but you do not work,
as on the road you come across too many old acquaintances

33) Some English words such as "use, shop, apply, drive"
forever for you to become part of everyday speech, and you begin
to persuade them by all the rules of Russian language />----------------------------------------------- -------
- Honestly, I can not find you! You are healthy! - The doctor said the patient.
- And if I'll tell you what sick? You share with me fees?

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