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Jokes ... (June 7, 2009 Issue 1)

June 7 2009

bar three hunters tell each other about their progress on a safari.
- At I ran rhino, I'm having admitted him to three meters - broads! -
- And, when I was hunting elephants, having admitted one to two meters and one
shot and blocked it.
- And I rushed to Buffalo with the precepts of the horns, well, I'm into it - wham!
- Ready!
Then get stuck into the conversation puny little man, sitting at the next
- It's all nonsense. That lion roared at me, and I approached him as much as
two feet without any weapons, and pissing him.
All three of surprise:
- Wow! And it will all end?
- The fact that I got in the face of the zoo workers ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
There are two friends.
- How are you?
- Yes, so-so. With Verka I broke, so now it will
to marry ...
- Wait, wait. How are you going to marry her, if you're broke
with her attitude?
- No, you do not understand. I broke a condom when he was with her.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Two wake up after the wedding night.
OH: Swear that I have you first.
SHE: I swear that you are my first but not the last.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Scotsman travels across America by car. Suddenly his itch to
great need. He stops at a roadside eatery, he sees
next to the toilet, but came closer to him, sees a sign: "No entry $ 1."
He thinks: "When to go to the toilet?" No way! " And rides
look for another. At another door, he sees a sign: "No entry $ 2." Rides
to seek a third, finds - there is $ 3. The fourth - $ 5. When Scot
drove up to the fifth outhouse, where the entrance fee was $ 10, he has more
no strength left to endure, so we had to pay. Half an hour passes -
He does not leave, then an hour or two ... Worried about employee knocks on the door -
no one answers. Then he decides to open the door. Inside, he sees
hanged Scot, and on his chest pinned a note: "It was
just gas! "
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Tolls on ppogpammep padio and gpit:
- Put a song for me gpyppy "Lube" ppo zagpyzky komp'yute.
- Something I can not remember y gpyppy "Lube" this song, remind your text!
- "Com.bat, batyanya, batyanya, Com.bat"
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Her parents named her son Izyaslav and it advantageous to use it,
ppedstavlyayas here and glory, and in some places - Izya.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
To master the ancient gloomy castle guest came. In the evening, valet
shows him the room for the night.
- Tell me - asks a guest - has not happened there in that room
anything unusual?
- It happened ten years ago, - answers the waiter. - In the morning guest
who spent the night here, to stay alive.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Passive participation in the booze - the first step towards homosexuality.

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