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Jokes ... (May 7, 2009 Issue 2)

May 7 2009
11:03

Performs a ventriloquist with a plush duck in his hand. Quacking voice
love to confess anecdotes, jokes, etc.:
- And now another anecdote about the cops.
The room gets it:
- Yes as you can, why we are all idiots exhibit,
Ill DEVICE TO YOU .....
Ventriloquist, blushing, began to apologize.
Cop:
- And you all shut up, I was talking with your duck!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Pigweed Ivanov:
- Vovochka to achieve something, we must learn hard!
Vovochka:
- Ivanna pigweed, you sense how or from whom ?....
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Once upon a time an old man and old woman, a blue sea. Went once
the old man to the sea, and cast nets vpoymal goldfish.
Put forth an old man wish.
Three years have passed, but the desire has not appeared ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Is a man drinks beer. Suddenly sees behind prick-eared cop.
A man starts to worry, adds speed, an element too. A man jogging -
ment and running. A man rushes into the driveway and is at an impasse.
"Well everything fell" - thinks guy,
Cop: "Hey, man, and the bottle is not needed?" I get it? "
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Just one look at those who are sitting on a plane to
accurately classify them.
The first group - those at the outset wear seat belts, take out
newspaper and read quietly in flight in emergency communications with them
bored, continue flipping the press - are experienced travelers with
great experience of flying.
The second group - these are very curious, considering everything from a large
interest, trying to touch everything, but can not deal with
seat belts, alarms listen very carefully,
but with an embarrassed expression on his face - it is newcomers who fly for the first time.
The third group - those are very tightly fasten a few times
check the strength of the straps, turned a blind eye from the first minutes of flight, and at
emergency communications begin to fine-trembled - it is the pilots!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
From a warehouse in Moscow wholesale and retail are offered: chicken cubes
Goat balls, cow dung.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Why do Mexicans impregnated toilet paper machine oil?
- To not lit when the mop.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
One girl asks another:
- Why are you always in the red dress?
- So after round one bull ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Dialogue on the Ukrainian New Year's special stock markets. Sell pine. Buyer:
- And at what price?
- 35 hryvnia.
- Shaw are so expensive?
- A sho do you want? Tree is now 25, and this - pine, it is there for you
before the summer will be ...

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