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Jokes ... (April 7, 2009 Issue 3)

April 7 2009
16:42

Group of Americans traveling to Ireland. One of just a tourist
pulled out - not all of it. The Group is coming to a place where there is the famous
Blarney Stone. Guide says that whoever kisses the stone, always
will have good luck. But unfortunately, today the stone to be cleaned,
maybe tomorrow, etc. .. Restless tourist it interrupts:
- For tomorrow we have scheduled another is the same disgusting
ride! We can not come tomorrow!
Guide explains that as the legend tells, the one who kisses, the
who kissed the stone, too, will have good luck. Dame:
- But what do you say kiss him, I suppose?
- No, - said irritated guide - but I sat on it.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- What makes your hand in my pocket?
- Looking for a lighter.
- You could ask for.
- I am ashamed ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
There once was a student, all as it should: the money is never enough.
He comes to the post office to send a telegram and money - just one word.
He thought and wrote: STUDENT. Home home to read and decode:
C - urgent
T - required
Y - a lot of
D - Money
E - is
H - nothing
T - point
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Can I play in small towns in a phone booth?
- You can, if the woman puts the figure, a man throws a stick.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Two men sitting in a movie theater, watching a cool and interesting movie.
And then one of them itch to take a shit. Endured, tolerated - but the film is very
interesting and did not want to go out and itch, so that now thinking about .. Xia.
Second, seeing the anguish says:
- And you do yourself a stub to the house doterpish and film screening.
- And how to make the cover?
- Well, you privstan when absolutely unbearable to be, and sit down dramatically.
A man suffered a while, but it was so that all thinking - the end.
Stands up and sits down sharply, with a happy expression on his face continues to look
film.
The second asks - how, help?
- Yes - meets - only the pockets of his pants twisted!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
The thief was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive
jewelry store.
- Please, - he said - I know you do not need any problems.
What would you say if I am right now looking to buy these watches, and we forget everything?
Manager agreed and wrote a cashier's check. Looking at the check thief said:
- It is somewhat more than the amount that I can spend. Could you show
anything less expensive?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
FAQ "How to boil an egg in the microwave?"
F: How long should I boil an egg in the microwave?
Microwave BOSH.
Q: Eggs can not cook in the microwave because they explode.
Use the pan and conventional plate.
F: How should I handle an egg to cook it in the microwave?
Q: Do not there is a way to boil an egg in the microwave.br /> F: I boil an egg hard-boiled separately, then put the heat up to 20
seconds. It exploded. What is my mistake?
Q: Do not reheat should egg, you could eat it cold or
reheat, put in hot water for 2-5 minutes.
F: I wrapped the egg with tape so that it did not explode, but it is still
exploded, the walls marred by the contents and pieces of tape.
Q: Clean the microwave with a damp cloth. Dried on pieces of tape
ototrite soda. Do not be rubbing the walls of steel wool and
scrape with a knife.
F: I poured some into a glass pot of water to equalize the osmotic
pressure, laid two eggs, cover the case of an explosion and
put in the oven. Water is not boiled, and eggs have already exploded and smashed
cover!
Q: Did you forget to salt water. In addition, the pan should be
metal, and the stove - usually not the microwave type.
F: I cooked three hard-boiled quail eggs, peeled from the shell,
put in a bun for hamburgers and warmed in a microwave oven. They
exploded and tore the loaf.
Q: The eggs should have vprikusku not warming up with a bun.
F: Only if the eggs explode in the microwave?
Q: All bird eggs explode in the microwave.
F: I pierced a hole in the egg, drank it, and the empty shell became warm in
microwave. It smelled of burning, and then burst.
Q: You should keep an empty shell, avoiding heat it in the
microwave.
F: I pierced a hole in the egg to align the pressure put
it in the microwave, but it exploded.
Q: Wash the walls of a microwave oven with a damp cloth.
F: I cooked an egg in the microwave for 10 seconds and it did not explode. True
and not cooked.
Q: Use a microwave for more power - 900 watts and above
or increase the cooking time.
F: I've fried an egg, and then warmed it in the microwave - it does not
explode!
Q: Scrambled eggs, unlike eggs, rarely explode in a microwave.
F: I put the egg in the microwave, but it did not explode and is not
heated.
Q: Check that the power cord into an electrical microwave
network.
F: Following your FAQ "How to boil an egg in the microwave," I became his
cooking, but it exploded and deeply stained my phone!
Q: You had to carefully read through FAQ to the end, without interruption
reading after the title.

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