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Jokes ... (March 7, 2009 Issue 1)

March 7 2009

I bought myself the zucchini, and how to cook - I do not know. What should I do?
Call the fire department. Arrived. I say:
- You fire?
- We.
- Then I fry the zucchini.
They say:
- We do not fry. We simmer.
- Well then stew!
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As you know, Hitler was extremely suspicious and superstitious.
One day he summoned the soothsayer to find out their future.
- My Fuhrer, I can see in his books that you will die in a day
Jewish holiday.
- What?
- About the Fuhrer, no matter what day you're not dead, it will be
large Jewish holiday!
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Vstpechayutsya two.
At another one govopit:
- All I bposil drink!
- A Che so?
- Yes, that's how get drunk, nautpo pposypayus - all blue.
- Ohhh ... I understand! ... My wife puka too heavy.
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- Light My zepkaltse, tell me yes all ppavdy reported: one in the world
all the sweeter, all pymyaney ...
- Duc you get away in stoponky something I nifiga are not visible.
-------------------------------------------------- --------
Young people can not zagovopit with devyshkoy
on tpamvaynoy stop. At last, he ppoiznosit:
- Devyshka, you do not say, here are 10 nome.p tpamvaya walk?
- Walks.
- A 12 walks? - Sppashivaet he dared.
- Yes, walks.
- A 23 ho ..
- A young man - his pepebivaet devyshka - there go all nomepa,
but your nome.p not ppoydet!
-------------------------------------------------- --------
One girl comes to get a job a secretary and said:
- I print one thousand two hundred beats per minute ...
All gasped, and she added an aside: "This nonsense is obtained!"
-------------------------------------------------- --------
Young mother - to the seller:
- Do you think that the toy is too complicated for my baby?
- No, it's just designed for you to accustom the child
to modern life. How would any kid tried to get her to lay down,
he still does not work ...
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- Dad, give me 500 rubles.
- Why?
- Yes, the four will do so.
- This is the exchange rate?
- The philosophy.
-------------------------------------------------- --------
Phone conversation:
- With whom did you sovesh his family nest?
- Who will fly first, and with the sovyu.
-------------------------------------------------- --------
Sasha resorted to his father:
- Dad, shut your eyes.
- Why?
- My mother said that when you close your eyes, we will be with mom
easier to live!

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