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Jokes ... (May 6, 2009 Issue 1)

May 6 2009

- Who yesterday at the funeral shouted: "He was a good man Fedot Phillipich,
shake it, guys! "?
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When you board an airplane passenger turns to the stewardess:
- Where's your vomit bags?
Waitress with surprise:
- We have not yet skyrocketed, and you're sick?
- And you look at my neighbor!
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Proper fit for your computer:
- Hands shoulder width apart
- Legs bent or stretched under the table
- Bulging eyes
- Monitor included
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Walked past the steep estate bum, and pulled it for free.
- And I simply do not submit on, man! - Said the host, lazily lounging
in a deck chair with a magazine. - You want some money - Earn money! Vaughn Go
in the back yard, where you will find paint and paint my fence ...
Bum slouched in a mansion. A boss continued flipping "Playboy", so yes
carried away that I forgot about the "malaria." He came to his senses only
when he tapped him on the shoulder.
- I finished! - Bodrenko said bum, rubbing his hands. - Only you
I incorrectly say: you have there, "Constipation", and BMW.
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The owner of firm summoned to the office clerk.
- I have two news for you. First - I increase your salary
- I do not know how to thank you ...
- The second news item - I will immediately be fired. Now we'll know
idler, a good place you lost!
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- I am a Scotsman!
- If you're a Scot, then why in the pants?
- I - blue Scot.
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The lieutenant, after a very bad hangover. Just in case Hussars decided
send for the priest. However, the priest was busy, so instead
came to the priest's wife. Heard about the Rzhev, she decided to look at the subject.
Gently lifting the blanket and estimating the size of a member, deaconess voluptuously
sob. At this time the lieutenant awoke and groaned:
- Here it is, the punishment for my sins ... In the hour of death - Pop bugger ...
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I bought a mobile phone and a man's wife all the time nazvanivaet:
- Ale! Sweetie, you're home?
- At home, at home.
- Ah! Well, when my wife is always home!
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- Your son called me a cow! What do you say?
- How many times have I told him that he should not judge people by their appearance!
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- Listen! You give me your hints already broken all cowards!

Spring flood in Western Ukraine. Sit two godmother on the roof of the hut and drink
One says to another:
- Dyvys Ivan, I think hat Peter plyve.
- Yeah, probably drowned Petro.
- Let's drink to the repose of his soul.
After 15 minutes, again hat floats, just in a different direction, well, again
vypiil for the repose of Peter. And so 5 times. On the sixth emerges Peter and says:
- Oh boys froze, nalyyte 100 grams.
Godfathers surprise:
- Sho robysh you there, Peter?
- Yak sho Roble, spring is, a flood with a flood, and till-then we must.

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