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Jokes ... (April 6, 2009 Issue 1)

April 6 2009

- And we lived in the courtyard of an element, its all called rheumatism.
- What is it?
- Do you know how he twists his hands?
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Vstpechayutsya after 23 February two dogs.
One whole pepebintovan, barely breathing.
- What is it?
- The owner beat.
- For what?
- Pokysal I did.
- Yes for what?
- Shall submit, nazhpalsya, skunk, and all my medals pinned ...
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How to use the machine to get money?
1. Walk into the bank.
2. Takes a machine.
3. Get money.
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Voppeki councils military never zakpyvayte eyes and do not fall
feet in stopony diatremes about nuclear, because in any slychae you see this
shoy pe.pvyy and last paz in life.
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Suited man to the gate of his neighbor and knocks.
Knocking, knocking, but no one answers. Knocks harder.
By the gate quietly approaches the dog and said:
- Man, do not knock, anybody home there.
Here a man falls immediately into a swoon. After he came to,
looks at the dog and said:
- What are you, a dog bark do not know how?
The dog responds:
- I can, but do not want to scare you.
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In the city buses on the driver's head is always hanging ad:
In Germany: "Talking with the driver is strictly prohibited"
In England: "From a driver is better not to talk"
In Israel: "There is no interest in talking with the driver"
In Italy: "Responding to the driver is prohibited"
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The little girl looks into the bath through a crack in the door.
Then goes to her mother.
- Mom, you know that our dad boy?
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A little boy comes home and tells his mother:
- Mom, today I kissed a girl!
- Yes, and it is at this tell you?
- I do not know, ears knees were jammed.
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Falls TU-154, two pilots sit and watch with sadness in ilyuminator.
Quietly talking.
- I do not understand why the sailors so happy approximation of the earth.
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Than a computer is like a man:
1. Tknesh finger - he starts.
2. Requires a lot of lotions and toys.
3. Always wants to get into the network.
4. He still falls with enviable regularity.
5. And strives to ask a stupid question.
6. Likes to be with him blew dust and washed with alcohol.
7. Considers himself smart, but can not do without my mother.
8. Does not make abrupt changes in voltage.
9. First freezes and then dies.
10. Burchi, when his ship.
11. When bothers to put in order, finally, you know - yourself cheaper
to get a new one.

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