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Jokes ... (September 5, 2009 Issue 2)

September 5 2009

Neurologist sets a four-year patient questions:
- How many legs pussy?
- Four
- And how much kitty ears?
- Two
- And how much pussy eye?
- Two
- And how much pussy tails?
- Mom, this moron has never seen the cat?
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January 3 moved to an unknown car pet dog the former U.S. president Bill Clinton. Arrived on the scene intelligence agents discovered an abandoned car sitting on the Koran and the instructions in Arabic as the drive and push as dogs.
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The inscription on the mirror: "Do not even hope, this is - you!"
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From the diary:
January 1, 1919 AM: I made a discovery of the century!
15 minutes later I opened a second eyelid ...
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What is the difference between God and the American?
- God does not think he is American.
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From news.
Surprisingly few cars had left after today's snow on the streets of Moscow, no interference with traffic is not created. Therefore UGIBBD Moscow urgently put in place a plan to "jam-center and just one hour traffic on main thoroughfares of the capital was successfully paralyzed.
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Girls, is it worth worrying about some spots .....
Worry is when they are gone too long!
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Hunter, on a boat somewhere on the lakes, tracked down a drake. Raised his gun and sees through the sights, drake him: - tsk, tsk, tsk! (Quietly, they say).
Hunter ohrenel, rubbed his eyes, he decided to swim closer. Swam.
Raises his gun and sees through the sights, drake him: - tsk, tsk, tsk!
He rubs his eyes again, swim is near, well, right up and raises his gun.
Drake again to him: - tsk, tsk, tsk!
Hunter: - what?
Drake: (whispering) - ka-ras!
Hunter (with the understanding also in a whisper): - bites??
Drake: - Nah, sucks!
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Japs have conceived another scientific experiment to conduct.
Invited Americans, French and Russian. Put each in a separate, completely empty and covered with mattresses room.
Gave each of 10 cast-iron balls and locked them. It took 2 hours.
Go to Americans. He resigned from the pyramid of balls and sits.
Visitors, write to the log - "a nation prone to geometry."
Go to the Frenchman. He puts them, takes away: - "The nation is inclined to mathematics ..." Go to the Russian. Before him lay a number of seven and a half balls. Ofigevaet Commission and asked to tell what happened.
"Well, that, you know, the one I broke, and two somewhere lost" ...

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