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Jokes ... (July 5, 2009 Issue 2)

July 5 2009

Seriously ill husband. Every day is getting worse and worse to him. A few
days completely silent. Wife: "Oh yeah Ah!" But nowhere to go - should be buried.
On the third day - the funeral. Suitable funeral procession to the cemetery.
Wife weeps, bitter slehami washes: "You are my Mother, my joy,
where to go, leave me alone? "A dead person at the time of the gate
will wear a cemetery. Suddenly, his face growing tree branch near
whipped. A man woke up, looked around, did not understand anything. All of
amazement fell. Wife of hugs, kisses on the joys.
Years passed. Grow old husband and wife, and this time really the husband
died. Again comes the funeral procession at the cemetery. Again the neighbor's wife
crying is, the wife was crying, lamenting: "Oh, my dear, oh, to whom I
are leaving, dear? .. Mania, Come hold your thread is good to once again not
whipped! "
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The Englishman has a wife and mistress. Loves his wife.
Fpantsuz has a wife and mistress. Loves a lover.
Evpey has a wife and mistress. Loves his mother.
Russian has a wife and mistress. Likes to drink.
The Ukrainian has a wife and mistress. Just loves to have.
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Matryoshka asks:
- Mom, what we have, dolls, always thoroughly pregnant and mouth from ear to ear?
- A daughter, but you have seen Pinocchio?
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On the day of birth mother gives the baby a toy.
- Well, what should I say? - She says. - What do I say my father, when he
brings home the pay?
- Is that all?
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- What's your name?
- Ali-Baba.
- And me, Ivan, man.
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- And who can guarantee a young person that you want to marry my
daughter, not because of the dowry? - Asked the father of the bride from the groom.
- Hey, Dad, we both run the risk: who I guarantee that with our
state of the economy you do not go bankrupt next week?
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Psychic Attack - sailors, leaping on the zebras ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Student passes the exam in physics. Lettings very bad. The professor is trying to
pull it, asks:
- Well, tell me at least a temperature at which water boils?
- Professor, I do not know at what temperature it boils, but I know that
at 40 degrees it turns to vodka!

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