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Jokes ... (October 4, 2009 Issue 3)

October 4 2009
16:48

A new employee, Svetlana liked Igor, and a few
days of joint work, he appointed her to date.
Igor before a date for excitement literally falls apart. C
morning, he ran a hair salon, where a haircut. Then meticulously
elected in a department store new tie. He flatly shoes so
smoothness that dust from them just slipped. During lunch on
excitement is almost nothing to eat and kept glancing at his watch. He
it seemed that the time runs too slowly. After dinner he went out again
a hair salon - this time to shave. Long goodbye to Igor bullet
rushed into the market for flowers for Svetlana. At the appointed place under
clock came long before the appointed time. In short, behaved
just like a child, not as an adult, a married man.
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In the morning my mother wakes up her son:
- Sonny, get up!
- Why, Mom, we have same day off!
- What the hell off! We're negros!
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Criminal Summary: "Out of Hospital Infection otleniya ran five patients with dysentery. The police and doctors managed to quickly locate fugitives in hot pursuit."
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Announcement about the elevator
Dear citizens, to call the elevator, there are two buttons. Press the top button if you want to go up or down, if down. Press both buttons at once if you want to hear your assessment of intelligence.
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- Oh, my God, I had enough, if you only knew! - He said to her,
nervously lighting a cigarette. - You live in hell on the horns: these provozhaniya
I'm getting in the liver are sitting! The apartment you stupid, smoking is harmful,
can not kiss, the music so as not to Plowshares ... How do I sick of waiting
you on these stupid dating, meet after school, eat with you
hamburgers instead of dinner, hang around in the cold on dirty benches ... And as much money as the flowers moved!
She looked with horror at him, her eyes already kopilis big drops.
- In short - tough, he continued, - you zamonala me completely. It's all over. Let's get married!
A man fell asleep on the beach under the scorching midday sun and hit the olnitsu with burns and sunstroke. His skin is flushed and went uzyryami and before it was impossible to touch.
Doctor appointed him intravenous electrolyte solution, a soft spokaivayuschee and Viagra.
"Why did he have Viagra in this state?" - Said Dr. Nurse.
"She will not touch the sheet body."
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If a rubber woman inside out, you get the rubber uzhchina!?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Spring! ..
Hands bloom! ..

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