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Jokes ... (September 4, 2009 Issue 1)

September 4 2009
05:51

Two stages of a lack of money:
1. When there is no money.
2. When there is no money finally can.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
In crossed by the rising sun transparent morning forest, on
the tip of lily petals, shimmering like a rainbow like a tiny brilliantik, hanging drop of urine.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
King caught the Englishman, Frenchman and Russian, and said that would give them
job, who are best to do - to a daughter in marriage and half his kingdom in
bargain. Tasks such, he planted them a month into the camera and gave the bag
crackers and Alsatian. Who is the greatest shepherd of all learn something, he is
won. Months pass. Goes skinny Englishman and plump sheep.
King:
- Well, has taught?
- Sit, lie down.
Leaves of medium build and a German shepherd dog is the same, he taught
sit, lie, voice, aport.
Leaves fed Russian and skinny dog. The king asks
demonstrate.
Russian:
- Voice.
Dog, pitiful looking into his eyes:
- Wan, give a cracker, eh?
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Message before shutting down your computer:
"Your wife's name is Natasha, Julia Child and Pavlik. Do you still want to exit Windows?"
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Estonian caught a golden fish, took it off the hook, and she says to him:
"Let me go, I will fulfill your every desire." In response, the Estonian
takes her by the tail and with all the dope Lupit her about the tree with the words: "Do not
on time-to-go-wa-ri-vat me by russ-ki. "
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Old, but not bad. During the development of socialism teacher
conducting a lesson. Refers to the class.
- Kids tell me how you understand the slogan, "The economy must be
Economical?
Masha gets.
- Previously, we in the family remaining bread thrown out, and now cut and make of it crunches. Waste not. Savings.
- That's right Mary, sit down.
Katya gets.
- And we peeled the potatoes, then cooked, cleaned discarded. Now her
first boil and then remove a thin kozhurku, waste not.
- That's right Kate, sit down.
Rises Vovochka.
- A nurse from home, we drove.
- It is not clear.
- A Th is unclear. I'm a big, Siskou not suck in the folder have not worth it. And the horseradish us an extra mouth in the family.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Flying aircraft. The stewardess comes to a man, a person of Arabic
nationality, and asked:
- Vodka? Wine? Alcohol?
- No! Thank you! I now sit behind the wheel ....
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Attending a lesson at school. Sit small children, the teacher asks:
- Guys! Who knows how you can immediately take 2 watermelon?
Vovochka immediately raises his hand, the teacher:
- Anybody else?
Tanya stands up and says:
- I would have picked up a watermelon in one hand, and each other!
- Umnichka, Tanya! - Says the teacher. - And who knows how to move three watermelon?
Vovochka again pulls the arm, but the teacher ignores it.
Vasya gets:
- I'd take a watermelon in one hand and another in another, and the third would be planted on manhood!
- Ugh, how disgusting, Vasya! How could you! I understand that if such Vovochka said ...
Here Vovochka not stand and says:
- Maria Ivanovna, I know how to transfer 5 (!) Of watermelons!
- Yes? and how?
- I'd take a watermelon in one hand and another in another, and the male
dignity would be planted Vasya!

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