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Jokes ... (July 3, 2009 Issue 1)

July 3 2009
05:48

The shop girl looking for a gift for her groom. Saleswoman, trying to
help asks:
- And what does your friend?
- He is a writer.
- Then give him this waste basket ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Counsel on a date with his client:
- I have studied your case, just do not know what to do. You killed chetyreh
man! What there may be extenuating circumstances?
- Well ... I could have killed five people, and yet not kill it!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Zaporozhets love to skate, love and Mercedes repair!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
In the sports institute student passes the exam.
Instructor:
- So, what muscles are working in man at rest?
- No.
- So, and what muscle group is working on the move?
- With motor muscles.
- Okay. And what muscle group is working when you think?
- Mentally.
- Well, what you are?! Not mentally, and thought-!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Why are the Americans the Statue of Liberty established on the island?
- And to the limits of this island is not extended.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
One man says to another:
- Come to the women, eh?
- And why did not he go?
- Well, you - a professional, and I - well, amateur.
- Well, I've got two girls in mind, now to them and let's go.
- And they are beautiful?
- Well, one nice and the other - so an amateur.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Children playing in the yard. From the window of his voice:
- Misha, quickly home.
- Well, Mom, can still be a little bit?
- Well, even a little bit and go home.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Elektpik on slyzhbe: "Last patpon - for yourself!"
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- Masha, come proshvyrnemsya in the movie?
- ?????
- Well let's at least go down the pub ...
-?? ? ??
- Ah, I realized encoding glitch ...

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