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Jokes ... (May 3, 2009 Issue 1)

May 3 2009
05:59

Q: How can I split a bunch of five parts?
The answer: fart in a glove.
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A pregnant woman and her husband asked the doctor whether they have sex
during her pregnancy. He told them that during the first trimester
they can do it the normal style. During the second trimester, they
should do it like a dog and during the third trimester, they should
restrict style wolf. Style wolf? "Asked the husband," What is it? "
"It is - when you're lying next to and howls!"
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If your husband came home late, drunk, angry
and in a dirty raincoat - soak it ...!!!
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Worth policeman on duty. See, the car is going backwards. Prifigel policeman, wand
visual signal did. Asks the cage:
- You are what is it?
- Yes to the mother-in-a birthday meal, but there is a small courtyard, turn often
nowhere.
Well, let the traffic cop guy, so that on his back and drove off. Worth policeman
further, some time later sees the same car going back and back to back.
Traffic cop at the end of prifigel, makes a visual signal:
- Man, but now some of which are going backwards??
- Yes, it was where to turn ...
SHORT STORY WITH LOGICAL END
One firm (no matter which one) began to sell their products
(Does not matter which) at double the price - for fools and wise.
So on the price list and read: for fools - so much for
smart - twice as expensive. And buying at the higher
price. Fools.
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One complains about the other:
- Yesterday accidentally broke your favorite vase wife ...
- Yes ... for it is you do not pat on the head ...
- Well, yes, I'm afraid does not give ...
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- Daughter, and where are you going in such attire, but those lips at all
pending lipstick color.
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Order of the Secretary of Defense for Russification posts WINDOWS:
Yes - Yes!
No - No, sir!
OK - That's right!
Pause - You can bounce back and smoke.
Stop - Attention!
Continue - ease!
Abort - Shoot!
Retry - everywhere!
Ignore - Run at any cost!
Login - Halt, who goes there?
Password - Show your badge!
Shutdown - End!
Access denied - not necessary!
Message - Report
Exception - emergency situation
And instead of words WINDOW, use the command - the embrasure.
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English I learned in school. Heart.
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Negro goes to church. A plaque at the entrance - "whites only".
He turns, goes grieving:
- Oh my God, what a life is, even in the church is not allowed! ...
And then a voice from heaven:
- You're the guy, especially not worry. I do not go there too ...

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