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Jokes ... (April 3, 2009 Issue 2)

April 3 2009

- Dad, what is it? - Asked the boy's father.
The father, who was also in his life never the elevator did not see, just puzzled
At this point, the elevator arrived very fat woman in a wheelchair
and press the button.
A few seconds later the doors opened and she rode the elevator. Father and son started
watch as the numbers on the top panel lit up in ascending order until
not peaked. After a short pause, the numbers began to light up in a descending
order, and when the elevator reached their floor, the doors opened and out came
extraordinary beauty blonde, very voluptuous form.
Speechless for a few seconds and missed a few heartbeats, the father
pushed his son in the side and not taking his eyes off the blonde and whispered:
- Well, son, bring-ka rapidly mom ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Encountered two vehicles. Enraged driver strikes the first machine
the owner of the second:
- Look what you've done! - He shouts. - You broke my dentures!
- Well, - calms him down a second driver. - Poroytes in this box.
And it gives the victim a cardboard box, in which he discovers hundreds
dentures. Digging in them, he finds a suitable and joyfully exclaimed:
- Wow, how lucky! Well, I was faced with a dentist.
- Dentist? - Surprised the second one. - I am not a dentist, a gravedigger.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
The boy comes to visit and at the door meets the huge bulldog.
- Come on! - Invites the owner.
- He does not bite?
- We wonder, he is our first day lives.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Sleeps ensign. Suddenly - a rustling in the room.
He jumps up:
- Who is here?
- There's nobody there.
- I'm not asking who's not here, I ask, who is here!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Student, the son of a New Russian, complains to a friend:
- Can you imagine, I sent a telegram Rodak, so they sent me money
Well type I can not afford food ...!
- Well, of course, they said "no"?!
- No, they bought me a restaurant ...!!!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Our tennis player Yevgeny Kafelnikov abroad is called "Kalashnikov".
Strange they have logic! If they are referring to the merchant Kalashnikov, how
combine tennis and boxing match? And if they compare to the famous Eugene
Russian machine gun, then what is meant by the horn for the patrons?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Creek from the upper deck down the brothel:
- Pani Zosia tell stoker in the basement - that there be no heat,
and then the customer is sweating and slipping ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Ha party, in a dark corner of a room, hear an excited
Women's whisper:
- Oh, Peter Ivanovich, you are now totally not the same as last time:
and his lips were softer than you, and hand warmer, and a member of, sorry, long!
- Yes, and I'm not Peter Ivanovich ...

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