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Jokes ... (October 2nd 2009 Issue 2)

October 2 2009

Pooh asks Piglet:
- Piglet you are interested in aviation?
- Yes, Winnie. Why?
- Then I can arrange to fly you on the IL-62!
- That's great! And who - flight engineer or flight attendant?
- Catering ...
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Three o'clock in the morning. Phone ringing. Who do I need at this time? None.
I will not stand up, I sleep, and all. Phone calls continue. Now all wake up ... Ehh, have to answer. I get out of bed and reaches the tube:
- Yes - I said sleepily.
- Hello, counseling services. You all right? - Asks a gentle female voice.
- If you have any problems, then we can discuss them calmly that you must not withdraw into yourself.
- What do you mean, what problems? And here I?
- At this time, committed the largest number of suicides. We, the city office of psychological help, try to support people in not the best period of their lives.
- I do not need any support! -I whispered angrily, clutching the phone to his ear.
- But as I said, you have insomnia. What happened? You need not fear disclosure of your secrets, trust - persuades the girl.
- What the hell, insomnia!
- But all the others are asleep at this time, what do you Eating?
- You woke me yourself! - Starting to lose his temper myself.
- Why do you whisper?
- Listen, my wife is sleeping beside him and I do not want to wake her up.
- Oh, so you have something to hide from his wife? You have family problems?
- Yes, I do not have any family problems!
- What is the secret you do not want to reveal to his wife? You changed it and now you are gnawing sense of guilt?
- Nonsense! No one I have not changed, I love my wife and she me, I hope, too.
- Why do you say "hope"? You doubt her faithfulness? What do you feel?
- I am in no doubt! " I feel just that out of the door pulls, and I would sleep on!
- Nevertheless, you are not asleep, and lay with his eyes open next to the woman who would not confess his fears.
- Damn, you did wake me! "
- You see how a simple phone call brings you out of yourself. But do not worry, I'll try to help you. The main thing - do not be nervous, sit down and try to provide something nice. Take a deep breath, do not think
about the personal problems and difficulties at work, which fell on you tomorrow, relax. And I'll call tomorrow and then I have, unfortunately, the change of ends. Good night.
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Dead man. Sits on the celestial yard, waiting for his fate.
Passing by a train with a sign "In Hell". Makes a brief stop, and then in the window opposite the man sees his wife's mother. A man briefly taken aback, and then to control myself and said: "Mum, I am happy to see you Where are you on the procedure or to work?"
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When you care to pick up the keys, this can sometimes even be nice. Worse, when once used crowbar.
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Every day more and more difficult to steal, it sometimes seems that I make.
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If the neighbors get you loud music until three in the morning, call them at four and tell me how you liked it.
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Leather furniture "Motsapt" pposkpipit you the best-known tunes of the great avtopa.
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Erisman Institute of Hygiene behalf recommends toothbrushes Colgate "that can penetrate any hard to reach areas.
Casualty department of the Institute Sklifosovsky reminder: it's all the same toothbrush!br />----------------------------------------------- -------
Advertising: Children Hovomoskovska second year participating in the program, "Blend-a-med."
During this time they changed a lot. Let's hear what they say:
- Hey, dude, you've got a bit of pasta? And then I broke ... "

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