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Jokes ... (July 2, 2009 Issue 3)

July 2 2009

Man went into the woods for mushrooms. Is itself slowly, gathers, suddenly
see under the tree some strange fungus. With the eyes, but still
winks. Only a man bent over him to consider, kick his ass.
Turns out - is a little girl with pigtails.
- Mushroom?
- DDA - confused responsible man.
- Come see me - shook his finger and ran away.
A man shrugged his shoulders, went further. After some time again sees a mushroom with eyes, leans over to him and gets a kick in the pants of the same girl.
- Mushroom?
- Yes ...
- Come see me!
And so a few more times. Absolutely ofigev, man wanders farther out on the meadow. There, sitting side by side, three crocodiles, puffed jamb. A man looks at them square eyes ...
- Mushroom, "asked the crocodile, inhaling.
- Aha ...
- The girl saw?
- Saw ...
Crocodile (bitter, with feeling):
- Driving it ...
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Night on a dark street are Russian and a Jew.
Suddenly they stop the looters:
- Quickly chase all the money!
- Just a moment, - said the Jew - I only true of other debts.
Here, Vanya, take - I'll have a five hundred ...
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Condom - is a subject that is not useful if you have it, desperately need, when you do not have it, and if you have it and you could not use it, you can always find a wife, Authorit find it in your stash !!!...
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There are two flies, and one other said:
- Yesterday I was so poisoned!
- What is it interesting?
- She ate stale shit!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Hear the case of rape. The accused - 85-year old man.
- The defendant, on May 12 this year in the 20 hours you Medvedkovo raped student Ivanov, at 21 o'clock in the Izmailovo park you raped saleswoman Petrov, and 22 hours at the Yaroslavl station you raped uchaschuyusya PTU Sidorov. Explain to the court how you did it, how it all possible.
- Yes, Che is impossible there, I have the same bike ...


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