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Jokes ... (July 2, 2009 Issue 1)

July 2 2009
05:41

Shvaptsneggep lies with his mistress. Call to dve.p. She:
- Myzh!
- Where you tyt y emergency exit?
- Hety!
- So where do you want it to y you been?
-------------------------------------------------- ----
From news agency reports:
"A group of Russian hackers broke into the protection of the master server and gentlemen
God and set itself the endless money and eternal life. "
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Programmer with a girl riding in the bus.
Girl:
- My dream is to go to the grave to Yanke ...
Programmer (some thought):
- And I dream to visit the grave of Bill Gates.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
English businessman diktyet sekpetapshe letter:
- Dopogoy sep! Poskolky my sekpetapsha - a lady, I do not mogy ppodiktovat
her what about you dymayu. Moreover, I poskolky gentleman, I do not have
p.pavoy even dymat about you so. Ho since you are neither the one nor the
dpygimi, I hope you understand me The correct.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
You have lived too long in Russia if:

1. You think twice before you throw the empty cans of coffee.
2. You always carry an empty plastic bag - just in
case.
3. Picks up the phone, you scream, "Hello, hello, hello," without giving a chance
interlocutor even introduce themselves.
4. You save the leftovers for the cats living in the yard.
5. Crossing the street, you run.
6. In winter, you choose your route based on the lowest probability
get icicle on his head.
7. You are impressed with the new model Lada or Volga
8. On the radio reported that the street zero degrees, and you think it is
nice day for a walk
9. You argue with the private traders because of $ 100 that he drove in a blizzard you
to the house on the other side of town.
10. You know, and really worried about that, if won
Spartak last night.
11. You are pleasantly surprised to find toilet paper in the toilet at work.
12. You look at the shoes of people to determine where they are.
13. Have you noticed that your colleague's cell phone is less than yours, and you
envy.
14. You are stunned when a guard at a nightclub glad to see you
15. You do not know what to do if the traffic police inspector asks you to pay
only the official fine.
16. You do not realize that really wants a tax inspector, if
He says that you have everything in order.
17. You give a tip to the waiter, only if the service was really
exceptional
18. You plan your vacation at the time when it is hot off
water.
19. You ask not to put ice in your drink.
20. You know what was the favorite color of Dostoevsky.
21. Arriving home, the first thing you wash your hands and put on slippers.
22. After a trip to Budapest you think you were in paradise.
23. Do you think black bread and a good snack to vodka.
24. You drink the brine directly from the jar with the cucumbers.
25. You can read bar codes and begin to choose products according
by country of production.
26. You know more than 60 women with the name "Olga".
27. You wear a woolen cap in the sauna.
28. In the restaurant you put the empty bottle of wine on the floor.
29. "Repair", "beer" and "pour" become an integral part of your
lexicon.
30. You are interested in, when the export of "Baltika" in your
country.
31. Cigarette smoke becomes bearable.
32. You think metal doors need.br /> 33. In a conversation with his compatriots you forget some
simple words and instead use Russian.
34. You do not really want to return home.

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