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Jokes ... (November 1, 2009 Issue 2)

November 1 2009

Ant is able to move cargo, many times greater than its own weight.
The man doing the same thing, but a few times, and strongly with the mothers.
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What happens if you cross a Siberian husky with a blonde?
One of two things: either a dull dog, or frost whore.
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When Russia abolished serfdom, each farmer received for the use of a goat and put ...
But not every farmer put right!
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Ancient Kyrgyz were unaware of the existence of Jews, but because everything is happening to them ills attributed to the account of the dark forces of nature ...
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Is a man on the street, cross the road and sees that the middle of the road is empty, "Jeep" open-door, near which lies the body of the downed walker, and nearby is a police "goat" and the two operators side by side.
Then one camera, with the rank of Major, beckons this guy and said, saluting:
- Major overpowering - MOORE, ask your documents!
A man holds out a passport.
- So ... Citizen - Lokhov Leo V., and now tell us for the record, and Sergeant Petrov writes: - why you shot down a pedestrian?
- I did not throw - it's not my car!
- So ... Write Petrov: - Win denies stolen car ...
- What do you mean! I do not know how to drive a car, I even do not have rights!
- So ... Write Petrov: - Driving without driving skills and without a license ..., by the way, you stink!
- What are you talking about! I just drank a can of beer!
- So ... Write Petrov: - Driving while intoxicated ...
- Yes, you're crazy poshodili! I have an alibi, I was at this time with his mistress!
- So ... Write Petrov: - confessed to raping a married woman.
- Nerds! Fuck you all on ..., - said a man and tried to escape.
But I got over the head with a baton and fell unconscious. Major handcuffed him and said the sergeant:
- Append Petrov: - has resisted arrest and was neutralized ... Oh, and today, Come into our office and mark with the Secretary of catching a dangerous criminal. Let soon as someone now
say that we have a detection rate is zero!
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A man walked a long way. I'm tired, my mouth went dry. Sees a herd of cows in the distance a shepherd leads.
Well, I think, come to the cow, pine milk from the udder, the shepherd will not object.
And, indeed, goes to the first that fell the same animal and let your thirst to quench, as a shepherd does not care.
But a minute later, the shepherd comes to the man and says:
- Maybe I'm othlebnesh, I somehow cleaner than the bull would be!
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14 reasons why alcohol should be provided in the workplace:
1. Good incentive to come in the morning to work on time
2. Stress is reduced
3. Sociability increases
4. Complaints about wages reduced
5. There is no need to leave work because of hangover
6. The cost of space heating can be reduced
7. To work to get better c friends ride to pool their savings or by public transport, making fewer stops along the way
8. Meeting the workplace is growing
9. There is no need to leave as a nice walk to work
10. His colleagues are beginning to become more than friends
11. Planning meetings are interesting
12. Overtime work is done with great pleasure, because after work does not need to rush to the pub
13. Own ideas are expressed more easily and are more creative
14. Fruits of Labor looks better than a great master drank./ P>

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