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Jokes ... (Oct. 1, 2009 Issue 3)

October 1 2009

If you want to get rid of flies in my room, you just have to buy a metal cooler, to sharpen the blade and smear them with honey.
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DEVICE vacuum bomb
Vacuum bomb contains liquid vacuum. When you hit the ground it breaks and the liquid spreads over the vacuum area. Watch for this enemy soldiers die of laughter.
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- Why have them in Israel is growing so fast the population?
- And they have begun producing condoms circumcised.
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Mature couple flew to the resort to celebrate 50 years of life together. Flight attendant, after learning about it, begins twitter:
- 50 years together! What is this?!
- It's like 5 minutes ... - Meets an old man.
- Like 5 minutes! - Admires the stewardess.
- Underwater without scuba gear - adds the old man.
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- Tell me, what is your length of copulation?
- Two hours and forty-three minutes.
- Well, for your age is a great result. Tell me more.
- Last forty minutes of waiting, when it comes, three minutes, and then two o'clock was unconscious.
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The train pulls into the station. In the car guy sitting opposite asked:
- Uh, it's ka-ka-kai hundred-and-Sensing?
He was silent.
- Hundred-and-Sensing ka-ka-kai, well, ska-ka-ka-kakazhite?
Not a word.
- Well, b-b-shit, already-on-Poad remains on-We establish ...
With the neighboring areas:
- Yes Malakhovka, Malakhovka.
Zaika missing their clothes and jumps out.
Guy who did not answer, ask:
- Well you are not prompted to humans?
- Not-for-time to be and I are in for Mo-Mo-mo-face would be more on-on-a-half-luchil.
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- Last year, we are on an old pirate map of one island
found a place on which painted a black cross. Took a bank loan, organized the expedition, found the place, digging up everything. And found everything exactly.
- Treasure?
- No. Black cross.
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Penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter and says:
- Come to me as usual.
- Go to hell. I have 500 customers each day, that I shall remember all of them, what?
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The dog was gone. @ Does not offer!

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