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Jokes ... (October 1 2009 issue 1)

October 1 2009
05:25

Why the vast majority of men so concerned about sex?
Because the vast majority of women, nevertheless, pretty.
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Why do the vast majority of female sex is not the principal desire? Because the same as the vast majority of men scary as hell!
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Representatives of the opposite sex! Be tolerant of the weaknesses of each other! Woman! Look in the mirror, imagine yourself in the place man.
Well, surely you would have remained indifferent?
Man! Look in the mirror and imagine yourself in the place of women!
Raises?
Here are the questions and have fallen!
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After the Battle on the Ice Alexander Nevsky sent his soldiers to catch fish for soup, good ice Peipsi was full of holes ...
- Do not bite! Yesterday been fed too much! - Complained Nevsky returned some time later with nothing warriors.
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Did you know that:
a cat that walks by itself - it is a cat Mobius?
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It System Administrator for the girl, who came to register the server:
"In terms of network security you have is a potential hole."
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Guy - his girlfriend:
- Val, you're my bird.
- What?
- Cormorant!
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A young lieutenant, a graduate of the Aviation School, arrives in part.
The commander said:
- Take the warehouse PAB service, get service weapon.
Arrives at the warehouse, he is given the PM.
Lieutenant:
- So here you are, the MiG-29 ....

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Plays a group of young people in poker. And there comes a point that everyone comes to a big map. The Bank is widening, and, finally, one of those present said that the money had gone, but he wants to continue playing. He calls his father, and he will bring money.
Here he goes into the next room and whisper into the phone:
- Dad, in my arms Hearts ace, king, queen, jack, ten - Royal Flush. I have no one can beat, but fortunately the partners also something big. Bank of huge. I beg you, bring money.
Soon comes the father, comes to the table, silently watching her son cards, silently closes them, and as silently begins to lay out bundles of money in the bank.
Seeing such a case, the partners abandoned the cards and the father and son take the pot.
When everyone had gone, the son said to his father:
- Dad, well, why are you scared them lots of money? They would have bid up, and immediately understood everything.
Then the father replied:
- Son, I see that you have not yet mastered the three important rules of poker. First - if you're already good win, be gracious and not stripped of partners to the skin. Second - Do not ever speak aloud their cards, even in another room. And the third - three hearts and two diamonds, this is not a royal flush.

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