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Jokes ... (April 1, 2009 Issue 1)

April 1 2010
05:04

A man with his wife.
Peasant -
Say, a movie, they scream, squirm ...
His wife, thinking and concentrating, vgolos -
Oops! Salary not dayuyuyut ....
Ay! Potato pomerzla ....
........
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Short anecdote: Bath across the street changing room
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Êàî a man vacationing in Italy and became acquainted with a local
virgins. Well fell on the ears. Soon after she tells him that supposedly flew.
That:
- I need to go home, and you give birth. How to give birth, I'm divorced
with his wife and come to you.
Ta:
- How do you report it, what would your wife not know?
- And you just came a telegram with one word "spaghetti" and I'll understand.
Well, he went through the first nine months of wife calls him at work and grit,
that was a strange telegram of spaghetti. Comes
he was home, taking the telegram reads and faints.
It is written:
"Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti and spaghetti. Two with sausage, two without,"
-------------------------------------------------- ----
- I have a neighbor - ydivitelnaya woman.
- So why?
- A y s. She 25 kids!
- She was the mother-gepoinya?
- Het, forgive some welder poddome and zapplaty ppodyktsiey issue.
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Comes in the slammer guy and requests a meeting with thief who robs
on the eve of his apartment.
Guard:
- Why do you, in court with him and see!
Man:
- You know, I want to tell him that'll take my statement back
if he will tell me how he managed to climb at night in our house
and not to wake my wife .......!!!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Man comes to the sex therapist.
- Doctor, help me, I'm only 35, but I did not get
with women. They all shy away from me!
- Nuu, my friend, have you got from an inferiority complex. Do so.
Every morning to the mirror and say to yourself: "I am the most beautiful,
I'm the best, I'm very sexy, and women will hang on you!
A week later a man comes back to the doctor, the black clouds.
- What did not help my advice is another problem!?
- Yes, I have no problems, so my wife .......!!!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Two lovers lie in bed, exhausted first rough sexual intercourse.
It is: - Honey, Do you remember when we meet you?
He: - Wait ... schA otdyshus and go look in ICQ History.
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1942. Germans in the village.
German:
- Answer me, Ivan, as partisans in the forest?
Ivan:
- Do not tell.
German:
- I tell you for every guerrilla to give a good cigarette!
Ivan:
- Fuck you, face a fascist, you want me to you for 10 cigarettes
the entire squad laid!
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Attending court for the murder, which against the accused presented a very
strong evidence, however, is complicated by the fact that the body did not
found. By the end of counsel of despair is solved step:
- Gentlemen of the jury, now the door opens and the alleged "victim"
enter through this door.
All eyes utremilis at the door.
- I just conducted an experiment - continued the lawyer. - If you are
believed in the possibility of this, it means that deep down you are in doubt
the guilt of my client.
When the jury nevertheless issued a guilty verdict, the lawyer
exclaimed:
- But how! After all, I've seen you all looking at the door, have the same
you have to doubt!
- We have noticed that while we were watching the door, yourbr /> client does not turn his head ...
-------------------------------------------------- ----
Dining room for deaf children.
On the wall is the inscription: "When I eat, I like always."

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