You are here: 
Home / Humor
rss News rss Articles rss General

Jokes ... (March 1, 2009 Issue 3)

March 1 2009

A guy calls the "phone sex".
It is: - Honey, what are you doing now?
He: - Beau you in the face and demand of vodka!
-------------------------------------------------- --------
- Hello, this society is the protection of animals?
- Yes, you have a problem?
- On the tree in my garden sits a postman and offends my dog
last words ...
-------------------------------------------------- --------
Rabinovich is a club equestrian sport:
- I would like to ride a horse. Can you hire?
- Sure. You are what horse prefer, what breed?
- I would be longer.
- And then the five of us ...
- Uncle, but who are you?
- I? I - a sailor!
- Where do you work?
- On the ship.
- And, of course ... Well tell us about his life korablyatskoy
-------------------------------------------------- --------
- Monsieur, you go to high-speed train, and a ticket you have a passenger.
Will have to pay.
- Why? Can you slow down, I'm not in a hurry.
-------------------------------------------------- --------
There are two Jews. One asks the other:
- How are you?
- Yeah.
- As a wife, children?
- It's okay.
- How to work?
- Nothing to flourish a little.
- Listen, can you lend $ 100?
- Can kiss me in the back?
- And why in the back?
- But you're too far away began.
-------------------------------------------------- --------
Flying sparrow, froze and fell.
Walked past a cow and naklala at him.
Sparrow warmed up and began to chirp.
Ran cat, dug it and ate.
Hence morality: 1) everyone an enemy who is against you naklal!
2) Not everyone that friend who pulled you out of shit!
3) You sit in the muck - not tweet!
-------------------------------------------------- --------
The operating from under the table can be heard meowing. Surgeon:
- Go away, you beast!
- Mya-I-I-y!
- Yes, na, na, choke!
-------------------------------------------------- --------
Doctor - patient:
- And how you ugorazdilo as much in three places, his jaw broken?
- Yes, I work as an excavator. On Friday night I saw -
sewer manhole is not closed.
Well, I think, over the weekend just some kid fall down!
Took so covered it with a bucket.
On Monday, I come, to start, bucket lift -
and then three plumbers!
-------------------------------------------------- --------
Giraffe hedgehog says:
- Oh, how I love to drink vodka! Count up - a lump of tepid
throat creeping, crawling ...
- Yeah. Especially pleased to puke!
-------------------------------------------------- --------
Cliff. On the edge - a platoon of soldiers.
Below - an ensign with a megaphone:
- Ivanov! Left arm raised, right, took! Freeze! Step Up!
- Petrov! Left foot forward, hands at his sides! Freeze! Step Up!
- Sidorov! "Swallow" do you? Well done! Step Up!
Goes past the Colonel, he saw and shouted:
- Ensign Petrenko, what are you doing ... your mother?
Autumn calls disrupted, the personnel is not enough!
And he, here in the "Tetris" is!

Rating jokes on Fark.Ru

More anecdotes on Yoki.Ru


Print version

Photo Gallery
At this moment...

Week top publications
Popular reading
©2006-2020 All rights reserved display number of browses и visitors for 24 hour