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Jokes ... (March 1, 2009 Issue 3)

March 1 2009
16:18

A guy calls the "phone sex".
It is: - Honey, what are you doing now?
He: - Beau you in the face and demand of vodka!
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- Hello, this society is the protection of animals?
- Yes, you have a problem?
- On the tree in my garden sits a postman and offends my dog
last words ...
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Rabinovich is a club equestrian sport:
- I would like to ride a horse. Can you hire?
- Sure. You are what horse prefer, what breed?
- I would be longer.
-??
- And then the five of us ...
- Uncle, but who are you?
- I? I - a sailor!
- Where do you work?
- On the ship.
- And, of course ... Well tell us about his life korablyatskoy
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- Monsieur, you go to high-speed train, and a ticket you have a passenger.
Will have to pay.
- Why? Can you slow down, I'm not in a hurry.
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There are two Jews. One asks the other:
- How are you?
- Yeah.
- As a wife, children?
- It's okay.
- How to work?
- Nothing to flourish a little.
- Listen, can you lend $ 100?
- Can kiss me in the back?
- And why in the back?
- But you're too far away began.
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Flying sparrow, froze and fell.
Walked past a cow and naklala at him.
Sparrow warmed up and began to chirp.
Ran cat, dug it and ate.
Hence morality: 1) everyone an enemy who is against you naklal!
2) Not everyone that friend who pulled you out of shit!
3) You sit in the muck - not tweet!
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The operating from under the table can be heard meowing. Surgeon:
- Go away, you beast!
- Mya-I-I-y!
- Yes, na, na, choke!
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Doctor - patient:
- And how you ugorazdilo as much in three places, his jaw broken?
- Yes, I work as an excavator. On Friday night I saw -
sewer manhole is not closed.
Well, I think, over the weekend just some kid fall down!
Took so covered it with a bucket.
On Monday, I come, to start, bucket lift -
and then three plumbers!
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Giraffe hedgehog says:
- Oh, how I love to drink vodka! Count up - a lump of tepid
throat creeping, crawling ...
- Yeah. Especially pleased to puke!
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Cliff. On the edge - a platoon of soldiers.
Below - an ensign with a megaphone:
- Ivanov! Left arm raised, right, took! Freeze! Step Up!
- Petrov! Left foot forward, hands at his sides! Freeze! Step Up!
- Sidorov! "Swallow" do you? Well done! Step Up!
Goes past the Colonel, he saw and shouted:
- Ensign Petrenko, what are you doing ... your mother?
Autumn calls disrupted, the personnel is not enough!
And he, here in the "Tetris" is!

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