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Art talk: In which cases it is better to remain silent?

May 17 2007

Loquacity is often regarded as a sign of stupidity. Nevertheless, studies have shown that in eight out of ten men from communicating with the loquacious women improves mood, a feeling of lightness and celebration. Anyway, many mistakes in the relationship are connected with the volubility: not so to speak, then blurted out, hastened to reply, no reply, and interrupted, criticized, not the place to joke, blabbed. Experience shows the main cases where the language is really an enemy. Actually, they are not so much. Just five points:

See also:

Telephone etiquette - it's everyone should know

Freelance - rules

The woman in the male group: how to survive

1. In a conversation should not involve such topics as ethnicity, politics and religion. Some people, and among them may turn out to be your partner, painful and the most unpredictable react even to neutral and positive statements on these subjects. As the saying goes, "when you drink good wine, do not ask where it came from, and an honest man - about his religion or origin" (F. Prokopovich).

2. Fast consent to an unexpected proposal. Sometimes, the bell rings and falls on you lots of information, and behind it - a proposal to move to another position, or to participate in some projects about which you hear the first time, etc. Really you have not realized what was going on, but you are required to immediately answer "yes or no." The proposal, you see, "valid for a limited time." In this case, the correct answer - a polite and firm "no." If somebody needs it in a sentence and you do not have any trick or criminals, they'll give you time to think, but just do not - goodbye.

3. Criticism of the authorities, and if greater, the general criticism of the missing. Before you criticize yourself somebody, ask yourself: could you prove the validity of your words in court? You could repeat what you're going to say on the radio? And on TV? But what if your conversation in detail, with colorful additions will be disclosed (and in 80% of cases, it is sure to be known) to whom you rub with sand? Thus, it is better to remain silent if nothing good to say about the man can not. "Ridiculing someone your boss (if not the necessity and possibility to remove them), listened stone-faced" (Kim Philby).

4. Problem areas appearance and character of the interlocutor. Sometimes, sincerity only harms relationships. Anyone who asks you if it is not too thick (thin), not too stupid nadoedliv, boring - hoping to hear if not a compliment, then at least something comforting.

5. You continue to talk and argue howling point of view when you do not listen. If it is repeated often enough, you can indeed seem like a silly and annoying person. It is necessary to immediately shut up when you see that you have no one listens or hears, but clearly out of politeness. The same thing - when your story is interrupted by a phone call or something else. Do not resume his speech until you are told to do so! Moreover, if you notice that the source can not insert a single replica, silence is necessary.

It is obvious that good communication can strengthen relationships between people, make them more trustworthy, reliable and confident. At the same time, poor communication led to discord in relationships, distrust, envy and even hatred. Learn to analyze the situation and choose appropriate topics for conversation, rather than engage in empty accusations and spend their own nerves and energy on criticizing others.

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Shibanova Maria


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